Thursday 31 May 2012

Vegas 2012

It's finally here !  I'm not yet sure if I will re-find the muse to blog my trip out there this time, but I will probably re-read my old blogs in any case!

Sunday 8 August 2010

Ex-cruise-iatingly bad poker

I’m writing this blog entry from The Independence of The Seas , on a cruise in the Med. On the whole, I am a big fan of cruise vacations. It’s genuinely true that there is something for everyone on these big ships. This is our third cruise, and our second on this particular vessel. We have already booked for next year.

I’d describe Royal Caribbean as an upper mid-market brand. It’s a high quality offering, but it’s not at all formal or stuffy. Fantastic for kids (especially the older ones). We do not see our 14 and 15 year-olds except at dinner. It’s obviously a very safe environment, and they love the freedom. There is a 1am curfew, which they simply ignore.

The ship has a casino. A pretty big one, and quite busy. Like most American casinos it is rather over-populated with slot machines (this ship is now based entirely in Europe, so the slots are scarcely used).

It also has a whole range of blackjack and (double zero) roulette tables and other daft casino games, like 3-card poker. No craps though, interestingly. The table takes up too much room, possibly. It is a ship, after all. Space is at a premium (theoretically, anyway).

Thankfully (I thought) it does also offer some real poker.

They actually have 2 (count’em – two !) hold’em tables, although both are 7-seater converted blackjack tables. Obviously the considerable expense (many hundreds of dollars) of a real 9/10 seater couldn’t be accommodated after they spent $800Million on the ship itself. This is a shame, although last year I played some enjoyable poker on the same cruise (interpretation: I won).

However, it wasn’t the physical limitations which really irritated me this year.

The fact is, these guys really know how NOT to run a cardroom. Many of you reading this will play at The International which is of course a superb example of how to do things right.

Of course, you may have gripes about the tourney schedule, or the structures, or the buy-in ranges or you may not like the cash race, or the carpet or the temperamental air-con etc. But even if you are a big fan of the club, you probably don’t appreciate just how important the basics are – especially competent, efficient dealers and knowledgeable, consistent management.

When the basics are wrong, it makes for a bad game. The other thing is that the game was full of really bad players. Now, I generally don’t agree with those who say they hate playing bad players.

Of course I understand that it can be difficult to know where you stand against players who don’t know what their bets are supposed to mean, and I have some sympathy for the extra bad beats that come around because the fish do not realise when they are supposed to fold.

However, I usually say that I love to play against terrible players, for the obvious reasons. I’ve organised plenty of very enjoyable corporate tournaments at The Gutshot and The International, where the fields were pretty weak. I even have some decent success against those fields. I also certainly don’t mind playing cash against players who are even worse than me.

However, the cruise players were bad in especially annoying ways (which I shall come on to).

It’s actually quite surprising to me that the players could be so bad. The ship has 4,000 passengers. Altogether, perhaps 20 people or so came along to the poker games. Just 1 in 200.

So, you would imagine these were the ones who actually already play and know the game quite well. It would seem like they must have actively sought out the game (like I did). I don’t think live cash poker is the kind of thing people just “have a go” at.

Actually, the standard in all kinds of games on ship seems quite low. For example, I went along to some darts sessions hosted by Keith Deller (remember him ? Nice guy actually). Highest score with 9 darts – that sort of thing.

tbh, I didn’t trouble the scorers much. I haven’t played for many, many years (although the 1989 Oxford-Cambridge varsity match is still a very clear memory to me. Well, the actual memories are a bit fuzzy as they tend to be after 12 pints, but my memory of not remembering is quite clear).

Still, you would have thought with the number of tattooed arms on the ship, the treble-20 would be wearing out. However, the quality of the arrows was not impressive ! Maybe being at sea causes problems. No such excuses for the poker players.

Last year, the onboard poker game included a couple of genuine UK regulars and some others who had some decent gamble in them, and it proved a fun game.

This year, the players seemed to know the rules and mostly claimed to play a lot online, but they were just mind-numbingly bad.

Let me try to give you some idea just how bad.

The casino was running a 7-handed shootout satellite to win an EPT cruise. $50 entry, with $25 rebuys. The structure was alarmingly shallow. 1,000 chips with blinds 25/50 to start. 10 minute levels, blind doubling at each level. 30 minute rebuy period.

I can tell you for a fact that I was the best player by a mile. I know this because I had 5 rebuys in 30 minutes, which was 5 more than the rest of the table put together. You have to try to get some chips, I feel. I went on to finish (very annoyingly) 2nd in my heat (i.e first of the losers).

The lady who won my table made this play of champions:

After a 3-way all in at the 3-handed stage, she had scooped and I was left with just 1,200 chips at the 1,000/2,000 level. She had 20,800. I won the first heads-up hand [ all in perforce on the BB], so I had 2,400 on the button for the next deal.

Obviously I moved in blind (before the cards were dealt, so there was no iota of doubt that I was blind). She therefore had to put in 400 into a pot of 4,400 against a blind hand. She had me out-chipped by 10-1.

She folded! I don’t think she is necessarily going to be outclassed at the final table, mind you.

Still, she was a tournament player. Perhaps the cash players would be better. Well just barely, I suppose.

The terrible players were part of the problem with the cash game. The slow pace of the game was probably the most difficult thing to cope with.

But, in the meantime, the rake was a nightmare. Now you generally do not find me engaged in a Jack Glass-style rant about the niceties of reduced rake or missed blinds or the like.

I generally do not worry about the rake in any game. I’m usually just happy to play.

Still, 10% is a pretty steep rate in a 7-handed $1-2 game. It was at least capped (at $10). That is where the good news ended. They raked heads-up pots; they raked split pots; they raked pre-flop pots; they started the rake at $5 pots.

The final straw was when I raised the button and the blinds folded. They raked this pot as well.

There was a players’ revolt at this point. Apparently this was a new rule, and I don’t know what was more shocking – the fact they wanted to take a rake in this scenario, or the fact that they couldn’t immediately see it was wrong.

Eventually they relented on this ruling, although we had to put each new dealer straight on it. However, they still raked in the case of limp-raise-all fold.

Pretty tough to beat this rake, and somehow it felt even worse because at the end of each pot they would laboriously stack the pot into $10 piles and then count off the 10%. If you’re going to rob us blind, at least make sure we can’t see you doing it !

I still fancied I could beat the players and come out ahead. But to be honest I never found a good way to counter the extraordinarily passive play. The players would simply limp virtually all the time.

I obviously tried raising a lot. They would often call these raises, which sometimes made for decent post-flop pots, but it was impossible to bet them out of these pots. I suppose the best strategy would be tight-aggressive but the pace of play was glacial, so there simply wasn’t time to wait for good hands.

You would be amazed at the numbers of ways that inexpert dealer and bad players can slow the game down.

Obviously, start with slow shuffling and lots of forgotten blinds. Then, individually make change to everyone who has posted an oversized chip. Also pre-emptively make change for people who want to be able to have the right chips to call the $2 (i.e. everyone).

Since there isn’t a lot of folding, each street can take a while especially as players do not realise when it’s their turn. Naturally if there is an all-in it will take ages to get a count. Allow the $0.50 cent chips to play, of course, to complicate matters. Do various amounts of pointless stacking of the pot. At showdown, no one turns their cards over, and then it takes some time to decide who’s won.

I am exaggerating, certainly, and some of the dealers were accurate and would earn a shift or two at The International (if there were a London-wide pandemic flu, say). Some of the poor players were in fact just a bit weak-passive (almost experts, in context).

The fact is, it is just not fun playing in a game against all bad players where the rake makes it a basically just a zero-soon game.

I’ve already mentioned some of the outlandish rake rulings. To be fair to the casino, I think they ran a fairly efficient operation but just didn’t really understand poker and what makes for a good game.

They were earning a pretty good income despite all the problems (although you would think they would see it made sense to speed up the game). I think there could be a bit of a virtuous circle if they ran a better game with a slightly less extreme rake structure.

The final straw for me came when a player pocketed two-thirds of his stack after we combined two tables. That’s bad etiquette even if it weren’t against the rules. The floor didn’t prevent him from doing this, and for some reason I just couldn’t bear to continue in the game after this happened.

The best thing about this game, I suppose, is that it really makes me appreciate what I’m missing at the club. I can’t wait to get in a properly run game where I’m going to lose because the other players are just much better than me. DC-Wednesdays at The International sounds like a dream come true (£100 FO followed by a spot of 6-max multi-game madness).

Saturday 26 June 2010

Paradise City

Blog coming .... after I get some sleep.

Sunday 6 June 2010

How do they know ??

I created my Twitter account and within a couple of hours or so I picked up four "followers".

Each of these was basically a semi-spam account. Real businesses (as far as I know) all related to poker - with something to sell. This happens a little bit on facebook. In my case, for example, a cardroom or casino may invite me to be their friend. I usually decline such meta-advertising.

On LinkedIn, headhunters invite you to connect so they can get in touch with you and so that they can see into your network of colleagues.

Fair enough, I suppose, and I nearly always decline those invites as well.

On Twitter, I doubt one can block a follower - it's a "recipient led network".

There's no real harm in it either.

What what intrigues me is how - when my account was just tens of minutes old and I have made no posts at all - they knew I was a poker player ?

They'd be kind of scary at the table I guess - excellent reads.

Friday 4 June 2010

To Tweet or Not To Tweet ?

I am hardly a technophobe, but I don't find myself leaping at the new technologies or the new internet trends. I was a pretty slow adopter of eBay, for example, and highly skeptical of their business idea. Likewise, I did not see the big deal about yet another search engine (google).

It took a while before I decided to give facebook a try, and the same for LinkedIn.

I have quite consciously avoided taking on any more of these networking services - they just eat up time, I think.

This specifically applied to Twitter. I really struggled to see the point of it. 140 characters - why ?

However, I am on the point of caving in.

With a trip to Vegas just around the corner, it seems like it would be the ideal way of keeping friends (those also in Vegas, those about to come, those staying at home or already back) informed of my progress at the tournaments and indeed to share the news of others among the "community" (I do find that UK poker players in Vegas constitute a real community).

I may soon be learning Twitterese.

Thursday 29 April 2010

A-Z guide to winning a beginners tournament

Avoid Bluffing.
Cheap Draws.
Exploit (Fully) Good Hands.
Introduce Judgement/Knowledge/Learning
Manipulate Novice Opponents.
Position !
Quickly Recognise Situations To Unlock Value

Winner [X] (You !)

ZOMG .....

__________

It didn't work, however.